DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy with a bit of a dilemma. I recently thought I'd do a nice thing for my girlfriend, but it didn't end up well for either one of us.

I tried to make her a homecooked meal at my place, but despite my best efforts, I actually singed one of her favorite entrees, and it was definitely not perfect when I put the meal on the dinner table for us to eat together. She made faces, let out a lot of audible sighs and didn't give me one single compliment for anything regarding the meal.

She cut around the slightly burned parts, ate only some of the rest of it, and then when we were done, without saying anything about the meal, she asked me what else we were planning to do that evening. As we were packing up and heading out to go see a movie together, I couldn't take it any longer and finally asked her why she didn't thank me for making her dinner.

Her reply shocked me, as she basically said there was nothing to thank me for! I felt that I at least gave it a good effort and tried to do something nice for her, but her viewpoint was that the meal was a disaster. She felt I should've practiced cooking the meal at least once on my own before attempting it for the first time right before she arrived.

In hindsight, I can understand her point, but I never thought of that. And for her to be mad at me and not thank me at all for at least putting in the effort not only hurt my pride but left me shaking my head about her overall personality. Do you feel I'm overreacting here? — She Totally Dissed My Efforts, via email

SHE TOTALLY DISSED MY EFFORTS: I completely agree that she could've handled this much better. There are times and moments within relationships where one partner reveals either intentionally or inadvertently part of their personality to the other. This appears to be one of those instances.

The fact that she completely dismissed your efforts, and scolded you for not cooking up a trial run first, likely indicates that her expectations are centered around her comfort, her dining experiences and things that make her happy, instead of noticing that you went through the effort of attempting to please her, even though the outcome was less than stellar. A homecooked meal that didn't work out deserved a laugh and a "thanks for trying" comment, not a scolding.

Only you know how you feel about this present relationship and how much it means to you. But going forward, you have now been advised that she may continue to randomly deal you jokers from the bottom of a proverbial deck of "relationship cards" at any point in time, to your direct detriment.

MY CHEERLEADER HAS NOT BEEN CHEERFUL IN PRIVATE

DR. WALLACE: I'm dating a cheerleader at my high school, and after being very polite and nonchalant with me for the first two weeks, now all of a sudden, she's telling me that I better not turn into a "banana peel boyfriend"! I asked her what this meant, and she said I better not be slipping up and stepping on any banana peels.

She told me I need to pay attention acutely, and stay alert at all times. And I don't think she's talking about me keeping an eye on traffic when I'm driving; she's referring to me paying attention to her, keeping her happy and keeping my attention focused entirely upon her.

Yes, she's a pretty cheerleader and a nice enough person, but I'm starting to get vibrations from her like she wants to be very controlling in this relationship. She's already warning me not to "slip up" even though I haven't done anything at all to even warrant such a comment. Is the rumor I've often heard actually true, the one that says cheerleaders are too difficult and too much trouble to date? — My Cheerleader Is Not Cheerful, via email

MY CHEERLEADER HAS NOT BEEN CHEERFUL IN PRIVATE: I'll give her points for creativity with her "banana peel" lingo but a zero for the context in which she delivered it. It sounds to me like she is indirectly — but subconsciously directly — telling you that in order to continue dating her, you need to focus your attention on her, her whims and her desires at every moment in time.

I personally feel this has absolutely nothing to do with being a cheerleader, as cheerleaders come in all shapes, sizes and personality types. Therefore, start by dismissing your whole cheerleader rhetoric entirely, and focus on how she's acting toward you within the relationship.

I do feel both relationship partners should be focused on each other to a reasonable comfort level but definitely stopping short of being controlling or demanding. Perhaps you can see if she was just bloviating a bit at this point to get your attention rather than actually planning to be as controlling on an ongoing basis as her initial comments may have indicated.

Go forward in your regular mode, and be true to yourself. Be a good relationship partner, but expect reasonableness and teamwork from her going forward. Hopefully that will be the case, and things will settle in more comfortably for both of you going forward.

But if she continues to be demanding to the point that it's increasingly uncomfortable for you, you should consider having a sit-down conversation with her in the hopes of moving forward more smoothly together, or sidestepping the relationship entirely if she insists on trying to control your actions going forward.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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